well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
