ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
