i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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