I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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