i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
