dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
