We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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