I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
