So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
