I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
