I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
The beer is more important than you right now.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Those nachos came to me in a dream
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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