um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
