can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
