At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
