this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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