where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
