Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Is it because I queefed?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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