It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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