hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
