is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
