Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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