is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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