I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
