After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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