I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
