Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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