I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
did i just pee glitter
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
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