She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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