2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
