we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
