thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
