After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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