I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
