i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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