She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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