i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
