i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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