His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
