member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
