The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
