I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
