Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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