IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
