anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
