I'm really into asian looking animals
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
