It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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