you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
