I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
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