I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
