So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
