So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
