at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
